Tuesday, 21 September 2010

The dreaded 'Elf an' Safety ...

I found this poem on a site called FanStory where I have some of my own stories on show. It is by Darryl Ashton, who has given me permission to post it here. If you'd like to contact him directly his email is ashton53@btinternet.com And now the poem ...

Watch out, watch out, don't dare go out.
The ELF and SAFETY man's about.
He says that there are nasty things
Called roundabouts and slides and swings.

And climbing frames you mustn't climb
Because they hurt you all the time.
"You shouldn't walk along the street
'Neath hanging baskets trim and neat.

'Cos they might fall and bump your head.
Or if they're heavy, leave you dead."
Don't leave your ladder on a wall
'Cos it might move and make you fall.

"And never run' cos you might slip
And end up with a broken hip.
Don't walk on roads if they are wet"
'Cos ELF says, "You can safely bet

Your feet will slip and down you'll go
To break your ankle or your toe."
So now although I'm just a boy
I dare not play with plastic toys.

The plastic ones will poison me
And metal ones endanger me.
I dare not go and ride my bike
Or swim, or go off for a hike.

"Cos danger lurks in everything
And only pain and death they bring.
I take in all this "good" advice,
That tells me life's not very nice.

And wonder what I'll do all day
To keep these dangers all at bay.
But I proclaim that while alive
Despite the pitfalls, I'll survive.

I won't take chances but instead,
I'll safely spend my life in bed".



He has a number of humorous renditions of well known anthems and hymns and takes some well-aimed swipes at any number of PC 'Sacred Cows' in his poetry. Do pay him a visit.

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